My Hand

I've been in a painting slump.  I started this a couple of weeks ago and was close enough to finishing to sign it but today I did make the final corrections and finished it. It's a tough time of year to be finding inspiration with all of the holiday busy-ness going on. 

This one almost got the better of me.  I did the under painting in grey tones and didn't know where I was going to go with it.  I glazed some of the colors in but wasn't satisfied and ended up painting over the under painting anyway.  But I think it turned out just delightfully.  I hope you enjoy it!

Up Side Down

I started a new series a couple of days ago: hands.  I don't think I will ever have the fascination with them, the utter astonishment, that I have painting eyes.  I believe the eye PODs (painting o' day) has produced some of my best painting to date.  If that sounds like boasting, it surely isn't. The repetition of the subject has projected my technique to another level. I want to see if it has a cross-over effect on other subjects and since hands are nearly as emotive as eyes and expressly because they are difficult, I think it's a perfect project to undertake. The repetitive, persistent pursuit of something worthwhile and challenging.

The result of taking on a cognitive challenge is exhaustion!  Code-breaking, learning to 'see' what the eye sees and not what we think we see, is mind-bending work.  I finished an under painting yesterday without too much difficulty, except that it took me two days to complete.  Today, whilst waiting for the first one to dry, I ran outside to Tim's studio with my iPad and shot a video of him throwing a cup.  I snapped some snaps from the video and found one that looks promising. After working only about an hour and a half, I felt exhaustion creeping in (body fatigue resulting from mental fatigue.)  I realized that I was messing it up!  In frustration and desperation, I did the only thing that helps at times like these:  I turned both the iPad and the canvas panel upside down!!! After another hour and a half I am safely on the right track.  I decided to leave it for the day, clean up and play in my greenhouse for awhile. Here is the under painting, upside down.

Permission

Christmas Card Production

One thing I allow myself is a messy studio. It's dusty, dog-hairy, slightly disorganized, and comfortably grubby.   The studio is my sanctuary and I am at peace with my own disorder and dirtiness, whereas the rest of my domicile must conform to some image of domesticity, order and cleanliness.  The 'house' is reasonably organized and when clutter accumulates beyond a certain 'acceptable' level it must be purged! But, other than the studio, there is no place in which I am completely at peace, at rest, because of there being something which always needs doing. Tidying.  Cleaning.  Painting, repairing, whatever.  Here there is no standard, no image to uphold. It's just my place.  All of the brushes, paints, computer, monitor, cables and cords,paintings, sketches, calendar, books, easel, library table, rug, cabinet, slop sink, watering can, dogs, smudgy windows overlooking the yard, closeness to the greenhouse and across the hall from the kitchen, just a stone's throw from the pottery studio and my garden makes it just about perfect. And perfectly messy.

Best Buddies

After I posted this I saw something I could not live with: Chester's eye was too low on his face, making him look like a cow! I also added the halter for contrast. I hope this is better.














I'm not done with my Eye PODs but I thought I'd try something different. This is a portrait of my brother Bud's hands which are caressing the nose of his favorite horse in the whole world.  Bud raised Chester from a foal and these two are best, best buddies. You can see the sublime satisfaction in Chester's eye.  I think the next one in this series will be Bud's expression! I also had to paint this compositions because I discovered, when I cropped the photo, that Bud has my dad's hands (sigh).  Hope you enjoy it.

Friday

I'm just now getting in my studio and it's late afternoon. Having been gone last weekend, I missed cleaning the house and it was starting to really bug me.  I was feeling so tired yesterday, as I mentioned, and the last thing I want is to get anxious or sick of doing my little eye studies so I decided to take the day off and do some housework and shopping and such.  I feel the need to work on a figure painting and I've got just the image in mind.  I think I will do an homage to my favorite figure painter, Stephen Early. Last week, in my figure drawing group at the other studio, I did a nice sketch of Eric (one of my favorite models.)  He was leaning against the wall but resisting it so his muscles were engaged as you can see from the sketch.  I will dabble on it this weekend and maybe paint in earnest on Monday.  Hope you enjoy it!

Only What The Body Allows

Somedays, like this one, I can only do so much. I stayed up too late two nights in a row and am too weary to finish my painting. But I DID start one:

I will have to let it firm up a little, too. I started with too wet of a ground and it was mixing with my paint instead of providing a surface. We are going on a working retreat weekend, leaving in the morning, so I am forced to set my work aside for a few days. I am sure it will be good for me. Plus, I'll have the chance to get some source photos for more eye portraits!  Have a great weekend, folks.  

Eye to Eye

I can't get over the sense that using the iPad is cheating.  Not that artists haven't always used aids to help them achieve the desired accuracy or to simplify the process, as we all know. The camera was developed as a tool for artists.  Lately I've had a much harder time painting from life.  Maybe because I can't get the result I'm seeking, now that I've begun to rely on the aid of my retinal display iPad. But I think it's a two-fold problem: my eyes are weakening and so is my brain.  It's harder to decipher visual elements than it used to be.  In an almost overwhelming task processing the immensity of visual information, my poor ole brain fights it... gets tired quicker.  I just love painting with the display up close to my work, being able to zoom in for the detail that I need.  Maybe I'll just learn to love what I'm doing and leave the purity question for someone else!

Today's POD is my own eye.  Hope you enjoy it!

8 X 10" oil on panel
http://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/christy-sawyer/eye-to-eye/153350

Beauty is in the Eye

Today's work is Sarina, the sister of my subject yesterday.  Their eyes are very similar.  This is the first time in this series I've painted an eye with make-up.  I found it challenging.  I'm not entirely pleased with some of the color but not unhappy over all.  I do miss painting wrinkles, though, and I will paint some next.  I don't want to over paint but young skin has to be so much smoother and transparent so I tend to blend more. With wrinkles I can hatch and splotch and dab to my heart's content. I guess I need that to stay fresh and original in this series.  I hope you enjoy it.

Into the Light

Today's painting is of my model/friend, Kendra. The source photo was taken by her daughter, Zinnia.  I tried to keep the lightest lights pure and bright. I worked from a light mauve-tinted panel and I think that helped me keep my vision adjusted to the high values.  I hope you enjoy it!

About Face

I suddenly realized I have only painted left eyes in this series!  So, today I remedy that situation.  This is my son, Ben's, right eye. This eye reflects the world around it, just as his work does. Ben is an amazing illustrator and comic artist.  His 'eye' is fantastic.  He sees what I have never seen.  And he encourages me to pursue this dream of painting.   Ironically, Ben's name means, "son of my right hand." Thanks, Ben, son of my right eye.

What Matters Most

I am so taken by these eyes that I wonder if I'll ever get tired of them.  Of course I will, but think what they have to offer: lots of color, reflections, subtleties, and drama.  Today I started from a darkly stained panel.  I thought I might have really set myself up for failure.  I usually start with a mid-toned canvas or panel so this was intimidating.  What this did was set the tone for the finished painting.  Although this really wasn't a terribly dark photo source, the outcome is very Rembrandt-like, dark and moody.  I hope you enjoy it.

Looking Askance

Something about these extreme close-up paintings make me a little uncomfortable, awkward, shy, almost.  I wonder if it is that the eye, as they say, is the window to the soul.  We all know that it's "impolite to stare."  So we have been taught by our society to avoid the direct gaze, yet, here I have invited the viewer to stare into the almost naked eye.  The skin tones, too, seem vulnerable, as if the viewer has gotten too close, almost behind a facade, to the barest of skin.

So, for today's POD, I've turned the subject (dear old Timmer) aside so that we don't have to look so directly into his soul.  Yet, for all that, it still seems intimate and almost invasive.  Hope you enjoy it.

Going Going.....

My brain is getting lazy but I think part of it is that the eyes are going soft!  I am having such a wonderful time using the iPad to zoom in on my subject and placing it close to my easel.  I have to fight off the desire to say this is 'cheating.' I've been trying to improve my skill in painting from life but this opportunity to work from the  high resolution display of the iPad is just drawing me in! I used my Nikon D40 to take the source photo.  I shot it in RAW format and converted it to TIFF.  It is just a stunning photo on it's own merits.

Here is my POD, once again, of Tim's eye. I hope you enjoy it.

The Eyes Have It!

Tim's Eye  8 X 10" oil on panel

I never knew how absolutely gorgeous the skin around the eyes is.  It has every color of the rainbow.  The thin, delicate tissue underneath the eye is almost translucent, the blood vessels glowing through.  The heavier brow and lid reflects the skin around it or what is in the environment.  The facets of the skin are like diamonds, each wrinkle a jewel by itself.  The eyes have endless variety of colors, too.  I think I am going to like painting them.  This POD is also of Tim's eye.  Hope you enjoy it.

Stop Yelling (I Can Hear You)

Eight years ago this past February I quit my job to become a full time artist.  But opportunities arose and I ended up becoming a potter, teacher, shop keeper, and finally a caregiver for my parents.  I did, however, paint through out, and did some acceptable work, in spite of all the wonderful distractions.

Eight years ago.  As I see it now, in perfect hindsight, I gave into the fear and doubt, ONCE AGAIN, and allowed these things to take precedence.  But now I have slowly, one by one, unburdened myself of each of these delightful distractions, and dedicated myself to my art, once and for all, for ever and ever.  Amen.

I wouldn't trade a single one of those gifts, the pottery at Boonesfield, the store on Main Street, the big studio at the Foundry Art Centre, or our lovely teaching studio at Crossroads, or the precious time with my parents, for anything else.  Those were amazing and wonderful times.  The thing I regret, though, is not putting my painting first. I wonder where I would be now, almost a decade later, if I had pursued it with a passion.  I can't look back.  Life is all about choices and we tend to make decisions based on a lot of circumstances, including doubt and fear.

I won't be afraid any more.  This is who I am.  This is what I do. Life will present me with other challenges and distractions and, honestly, duties that I must attend.  But the work is first and foremost.  Ya hear? (I am yelling at myself.)

Here's another POD.  This time it is Tim's eye.  Hope you enjoy it.

Waiting for the Muse to Visit

My very talented artist son, Ben, cried, "I need a muse!" And I replied, "I bet what you really need is some financial success!  A sponsor, a contract, a patron!"  How much of our artistic lives are spent trying to find out what to make that will sell? How much energy is expended on marketing and promotion?  How many times have I looked at a blank canvas and said, "what's the point?"

Nothing is more stimulating than success.  But if I wait for it, it may never happen.  We artists have to stay motivated, fresh, original, energetic, spontaneous.... good grief!  Who can maintain that type of kinetic energy? That's a huge list for any one to attempt, let alone a melancholic artist!  Ah, well. 

Nothing succeeds like success someone once quipped.  Yea, right.

I'm really frustrated trying to paint really large things on a tiny little canvas.  Today I decided I'm going to enlarge small things instead.  Here's my POD (Painting of the Day.) I painted it over the scrapings from the last two days.  Hmmm, I should give it a meaningful name like, "Lost and Found," or something equally banal.  Instead, I give you, My Eye.  Hope you enjoy it.

My Eye 8 X 10" oil on panel

Two Days of Scrapings

Well, congratulations to me for accomplishing nothing for the last two days.  This is what a scraped down panel looks like.  I was playing around with the pose from last week's modeling session and nothing I did worked.  It was as if my brain said, "what, you did this already!"  I thought I could trick myself into doing it again in a different style but, nope, not happenin'.  I'm going to clean up and go wash the dogs.  I'll try again tomorrow.  I have to realize it's never wasted time, even if I don't know what I've gained.  Something good will come out of this.

Between Two Worlds

I live in many spheres... I am torn between them all!  When I am gardening, I'm feeling guilty for not being in the studio.  When I'm fixing up River Road Studios where I have my figure drawing group, I feel like I should be at my home studio.  I guess the healthy artist is the one who balances her tasks and plays with the tension between them all.  I am so grateful, profoundly grateful, to have this time of my life to focus upon my art.  So much has transpired to make it possible, but here I am with NOTHING but good things to distract me.  It is up to me to decide which path I'll take each day.

One thing I know, though, and that is there is not enough life left for me to do all the things I need to do to become the painter I want to be!  It's okay to be wooed away on occasion but I MUST be about the business of painting.  Here's the completion of the teeny little figure painting.  Hope you enjoy it!

Some is Better than None

I worked on lighting in the River Road Studio today.  Rearranged and erected my lighting boom.  After lunch I took a little reboot and then came down to the home studio to do something, anything, hopefully beneficial on my little painting from yesterday.  I'm sorta kinda maybe a little bit pleased (almost afraid to say it?)  This is tiny tiny tiny, folks.  I'm not used to painting figures with 2's and 4's.  Well, just a smidge of progress but here it is.  Hope you enjoy it.

New Eyes

I saw a painting just uploaded by Stephen Early on his Facebook page and it made me absolutely greedy! Looking is NOT enough: I want to consume it with my eyes!! Besides the fact that my eyes have betrayed me today. Some days are like this...as if I've forgotten HOW to see. I will post my under-painting (the second of the day...my first I wiped off), not because it is finished, but because I must to stay legit! And yes. I did fail to compose properly; I painted her off the edge of the panel.

Old Farmstead

This is the first oil I've messed with in ages!  I gessoed some 8x10 panels with lots of texture. I tinted the panel with burnt sienna and then did an underpainting in burnt sienna, alizarin crimson and van dyke brown. The landscape is thin washes of color, added and wiped off while the sky is finger painted!  FUN, huh?

Speak to ME!

Tim said, "Funny how the things you expect to turn out great, don't.  And the things you really dread turn out okay."  This was one of those times. We had a call from the hospital to pick up a former neighbor who was being discharged from the psych ward and drive him home.  Our biggest fear, that he had slipped back into his sad and reclusive ways, did not materialize. It turned into as a blessing to see how he is living and that, honestly, he's doing alright.

 A couple of times during the drawing of this pretty young woman I thought I saw her move!  I felt like Michelangelo who spoke to his marble and demanded that it speak to him!  Unfortunately, I did what I usually do: pushed the drawing too far, too specific for the painterly effect I wanted (but not nearly refined enough to be a finished piece of drawing) and lost the tenderness and immediacy that I was going for. But at least I finished something.  Have a nice day!

Handsome Young Man with a Crooked Face

Just a quick sketch done in an hour(?) after a stressful day of people problems, and I just said, I'll make myself a drink and do a doodle and then I won't have failed my pledge.

'Supporting the Arts' vs. 'Supporting Artists':

We had a wonderful time at 2nd Thursdays @ The Foundry Art Centre last night. Food trucks in the parking lot, music and making art inside. But when you lower art-making to the lowest common denominator, as in Johnny making a piece of art in ten minutes that he can take home that looks just as good as the sample, or for that matter, some of the art on display, why should anyone pay for "art" that artists make? Part of me LOVES the whole concept of "you TOO can make a pot!" And another part of me thinks it demeans the work of serious artists. The third part of me says we need to challenge the narcissism of artists anyway! Unfortunately, the bottom line is that for artists to sustain themselves financially is almost impossible.

When 'Johnny and Susie' make art, and it's as good or better than what you see on the walls in the gallery, it makes me ask the irreconcilable question of 'What IS art?' I know better than to "go there." It doesn't stop me from musing on it, however. At the very least, I think great art is great story telling.  But more than this, artists proclaim what they love. Some art is beautiful (more so to some people than others). Some art is ugly and offensive (also more to some than to others.)  These subjective evaluations are in the mind and eye of the observer.  But, even if an artist portrays chaos and ugliness, she is proclaiming that order and beauty have a purpose.  It may not be the ideal to which she is striving but at least there is the sensibility that she is challenging the definition.  

I'd like to make the case that creating art is similar to falling in love.  When we are in love, we want to tell everyone we know about it, write songs and poems about, think about and focus all of our creative energy on the loved one. Perhaps, art can be defined as something we love passionately enough to focus all of our creative energy, thoughts and passion upon.  If we don't love it enough, it will be a hobby/playmate.  If we dash off something too easily, lacking passion, we demean our lover and perhaps aren't making art at all, but rather are crafting .

I am in a quandary right now, wondering how I'm proclaiming my loves. I am torn into bits, parts of me going in lots of directions.  I'm taking myself back to a vulnerable place by exposing myself to this blog.  By revealing my lack of skill and vision, I am tearing down walls that I have built up over decades that have protected my image but have walled off creativity, spontaneity and joy.  

  

Go Ahead and Fail

I never knew I was this bad!  Because I never let myself fail, I haven't grown in all the ways an artist must.  This daily challenge has made me attempt things I NEVER would have allowed myself to do before because "painting" was this higher calling and had attending expectations that I, as a "professional" must achieve.  Nonsense!  Even today I was hearing an inner voice tell me that this stuff is beneath me.  Yea, right.  I can't paint a plate to save my life.  But, if the subject is worthy and if I give it a bit of my loving care, it might turn out alright, even if it's not great or even "good." So, for all that it's worth, here is a little drawing that took me a couple of hours.  I am not feeling too well or I might spend more time on it but that isn't the point, is it?

Sarina Revisited

Am I done yet?  I'm still learning about pastels.  I'm getting a little closer to what I envision but I'm so ready to run back to oils!  I don't think this one is quite complete but I've been at it for four hours and I need to take a break.  Maybe tomorrow I'll decide "it's good enough" for what it is.... and try it again in oil.) Check this out and feel free to comment:

Resorting to Painting Dogs?

Tim passed through the studio before lunch and said, "I see you've resorted to painting dogs."

That stung a little. I am happy to paint just about anything, even a portrait of a beautiful dog-friend.  The way I see it, seeing is seeing; one must learn to paint everything one sees. Including dogs.  I hope you like it.

A Doodle a Day

Well, a car load of boys is showing up any minute to help move mulch. I figgered a doodle is as good as I can do today. This is from a phone snap that Buck Horn (aka Brother Bud) took of himself a short while ago.

I like that I've given myself permission to doodle and play. This daily challenge is great.

Day Four - Farmland

I know I'm making progress on getting a professional attitude because when I'm not at work I'm tense and unsettled. So, I have been a few days away from working in my studio! I can't seem to get a stride and maintain it. Today was a perfect example. Tim and I had some home chores and repairs and then ran into St. Louis County for lunch and errands. The improvement I see is in the fact that I came straight home and did a sketch from a photo of the last figure session and then did this little 6x8 pastel from one of my cousin's photos of the trip. And btw, she really loved and received the first farmland painting with joy.

Day Three - Farmland

My cousins came through last week on their way out West.  Julie snapped a photo of lovely Nebraska farmland and I painted this pastel from that iPhoto image.  She's coming back through tomorrow on her way home and I'm sure I won't have time to attempt my challenge so will you accept this (which was done in one session, too, just last week, not today.  Okay?)

Day Two - Eric

My painting hero, Stephen Early, paints the most amazing, sensitive, tiny figure paintings I have ever seen.  I can't begin to describe how these make me feel but I'll try: they make me vibrate with excitement.  I love the translucent passages and the tender little daubs of warm pink on the warmest parts of the figure.  He's been working on a series of 6 X 8's in oil.  Here's one of them: Rita ~ Stephen Early.  He is such an accomplished artist and I admire his work very much.

For the daily painting challenge, I will be working large and small.  Today I tried a tiny figure painting and found it to be extremely difficult working with pastel paper.  The dips in the paper look ridiculous on a small scale piece but that is what I had to work with.  I'm not even going to attempt an oil painting of that delicacy until I get some smaller brushes.

Here is my contribution for the day, done from a photo from last night's figure drawing session:

I don't think the photo does it justice. So here's a doodle I actually completed last night during the session. I like it much better.

Day One - Sarina

A nice little pastel, start to "finish" in one session.  Cropped it will be about 10" X 12".

Here's one of three sketches I did today from last week's figure drawing session.  I'm working up some ideas to do a large pastel of this pose.  I'll post more tomorrow.  Thanks.

~C.S. Lewis is quoted as saying something like, "we do not have souls; we are souls that have bodies." Despite the fact that I can't prove that he said this, I believe it!  I paint souls!  I'm bored to tears painting anything else!!!  There is nothing like human flesh draped over bones, wrinkling is crevices, stretching over muscles, reflecting warmly off itself, planes of light melting into shadows, defining and confining the soul that dwells within!!

Welcome to my painting blog.  I will be challenging myself to paint something daily and taking a few minutes to write about the process.  Until I get a few things posted, take a look at my website if you please.  I will be updating soon.

Thanks.  See you soon!
www.xtpaints.com