Not Every Step is Forward

I'm going to call this one done. It's got a lot of things about it that I like, and quite a few I don't. I'm not terribly invested in it, in other words, it's more of an exercise than a personal statement. Judging from that criteria, it has value: I have learned a good bit.

This is the first thing I have painted since April (? I think.). This past six months have been consumed with the move from Saint Charles, downsizing from a 4000 sq. ft. house that Tim and I had lived in for 17 years, to a 1300 sq. ft. St. Louis townhouse. And here I am, a mere six months later, sitting in my new studio, evaluating my first piece and deciding on where to go with my next. 

The last few paintings in Saint Charles were painted in a blacked out room, one light bulb over my set up and one over my painting, trying to get one clean source of light, no fill, spill, or indirect light. I was searching for the lost edges and subtle variations of color in near darkness. And really, I am as pleased with those as anything I have done in a long time. 

So, in my beautiful new north light studio, I am able to paint from the consistent lighting that changes little in color or intensity for hours a day with no supplemental source of lighting. This first composition actually surprised me, in that I was able to achieve those same lost edges in such a light filled environment. The conclusion is that the edges are "lost" in the contrast of light, not the lack of it. 

I love this new environment. First of all, I'm not working in a basement. Secondly, my big arched window looks out onto a lovely urban park that is now in the throws of autumnal transformation. However, as in my last home, my studio is placed conveniently where I can grab coffee, let the dogs out, toss in a load of clothes or even make lunch, without feeling as if I have to change gears or disconnect from painting.  In fact, it's an advantage.  I don't know how you work, but for me, I need to pull away from the canvas several times an hour, sometimes for an extended time. If not, I lose perspective, become overly focused or just get excessively tired. And I am the worst at "changing gears." This feels natural and effective, and I don't feel torn.  Granted, sometimes I do like to fool around too much, but hey, I'm not working on commission right now. I can afford to have fun with the process as, I hope, the result! 

             

Handles

I agree with Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes) when he said: "an artist's statement says far more than his work ever could." Not being a "trained" artist makes me pretty insecure about making any statements at all. But sometimes I think people really want to know what makes an artist tick, to understand what catches their fancy and motivates them to create something. 

I hated and avoided painting still life for years and now I think I finally understand why:  I'm accustomed to painting portraits and figures which are interesting in and of themselves. This requires posing and lighting, certainly. But those things come pretty naturally to me and I'm lazy. It takes thought and effort and introspection to set up a good still life composition. So, now that I've worked on still life composition consistently for awhile, I'm beginning to see things differently and hopeful to be composing interesting and pleasing still lifes. 

It takes me a long while to set up. I change my lighting and textiles and objects over and over until I find something worth painting. This time, I didn't actually know what was right about the composition until I started work on it; I just knew that I liked it. The studio was so dark that I was able to achieve "lost edges," where the edges of the forms melt into the background. I love the repetition of the shapes of the two jugs, which contrast in value. And lastly, the angular wooden butter press sharply contrasts with the rounded shapes of the jugs. I am especially pleased with the handles...they define the painting for me. I hope this has been entertaining or informative to you. I may not even be using the right artsy terminology but I doubt that matters to those who are truly interested in how things are made!!

Creating Cosmos from Chaos

I have been painting.  I can sense small changes and little breakthroughs in my work. The most important thing has been busily being about my work, just doing it. One day last week I only had a short amount of time so I pulled out a still life I had earlier rubbed out and set aside. Without a reference photo or set up, I completed it. It was loose and suggestive and scumbly and I loved it! So I immediately pulled out a toned canvas and quickly painted, in under an hour, an eye portrait of my grandson Caleb. I painted directly, very little drawing, just diving in and doing it. I also love this painting. 

Amusing

Amanda 3  8 X 10 in  oil on canvas panel

Amanda 4  8 X 10 in   oil on canvas panel

If you believe in "The Muse" who enables and inspires you to create works of art, then you operate under the assumption that this personal muse visits you at his pleasure and not always when you summon. If you believe, as I do, that the creative spirit is nurtured from within, then WHY oh WHY does it just vanish for days at a time? I am not referring to having little or no inspiration, but days in which I know not how to pick up a brush, to make a meaningful brush stroke! For instance, I had a very bad, terrible, rotten no-good afternoon two days ago. It was a verbal, conflicting, anxiety-producing kind of day, all things that block my ability to paint. I ended up wiping out two paintings which had started well but ended as pure dribble. I spat and fumed all night long, grumpy, frustrated and resentful. Yesterday I tucked my chin, hunkered-down and re-painted the two that I had wiped out, painting long into the night. And today I finished a third from that series. I wish I could blame it on my muse, but knowing better, seriously pleased that I worked my way through the blockage to produce these nice little eye portraits. Hope you enjoy them.

Caleb 3  8 X 10  oil on canvas panel

A Closer Look

The other day I was taking photos of something on my easel and as I was lowering my iPad to place it on my lap I noticed the camera had focused on the paint tray of the easel.  I snapped three or four images and chose one to paint.  This old easel is one that Lindenwood's art department "recycled" when they remodeled their painting studio a few years ago.  I claimed it and have loved it for all it's crusty sturdiness.  It's huge, bulky and difficult to crank!  But the best part of the photo was the years of accumulated paint, ink and who knows what else.   Anyway, it was a joy to paint this and I hope you enjoy it.

 A Closer Look  
18 X 24 in   oil on canvas

Primed

Introversion   5 X 5 ft  oil on canvas

The definition of introversion that works best for me is this: despite the fact that I love people, the energy I expend in talking to and being with them is limited and does not get refilled until I am alone and pursuing other goals. Usually all that is necessary to recharge my battery is a quick nap or an hour in the garden.  But recently I feel like I've been zapped, drained, depleted.  It's as if I need to "prime the pump," pull out the choke and flood my engine.... something to push me over the red line.  Nothing is wrong in my life.... nothing. In fact, seeking to find a "reason" is self-indulgent and narcissistic and doesn't help one little bit. Have you ever tried to water a houseplant when its soil has gotten completely dry?  The water runs right through the soil into the saucer.  It seems contradictory, but to get dry soil to absorb water you have to moisten the soil first.   I feel just like that.... my soil has gone too dry and all the good things in my life seem to flow right through me without being absorbed.  And I don't know what is needed to do that pre-moisturizing of my soul.  This painting is an exercise in pure expressionism, a stream of consciousness that reflects some of the subjects I have painted over the last year.   It is a dark story told in passionate calligraphic strokes, intensely personal and mysterious, even to me.  I do not feel primed.  Yet.  I will continue to search through all means, including paint.  I hope you enjoy it.

Candy Dish

This was a fun, challenging little set up.  The dish, an antique from my great grandmother's collection, is a family treasure, despite the fact that it has no real value.  It has a lot of intricate embossed designs, which I choose to barely indicate. I'm finding I have more success in attempting complex designs than in the simple ones because it requires me to switch to my right brain mode and paint only what I see, and less, rather than what I THINK I see. I hope you enjoy it.

Eggplant and Onion

Today's painting of the day is a quick still life study.... took little time but lots of seeing.  I want to simplify my daily paintings so that I can accomplish them in a few hours and not stress over them.  The hardest thing for me is deciding what to paint and I often wanderer around for hours without ever coming up with a suitable composition.  So, instead I am going to throw things up and paint them quickly and see what I can see.  Hope you enjoy it!

Too Little

Kendra 8X10 in oil on canvas panel

I am trying to find something to paint for my daily challenges and I keep reverting to the figure.  It's one thing to paint them well on a larger scale but to bring life to a tiny figure is a tremendous challenge for me.  I am not a master of the delicate brush nor of brevity. My inspiration is Stephen Early (http://www.stephenearly.com). I researched one of his tiny nudes, zoomed in to discern his brilliance of draftsmanship, delicacy, detail and tried to translate it into what I was painting. I started with a bad iPad, photo, fuzzy, poorly lit and I struggled just like every other time I've worked on this scale... I don't know... we'll see.  I might hide it in a day or a week or month. Hope you enjoy it.

Afterthought

I am a portrait painter that doesn't know how to paint anything else!  I can't paint landscape, still life, or any combinations of all three with much success.  Ergo, I always revert to what makes me happy and leave off the schoolin' that I need to become a better painter all around.  So, as much as it bores me, I'm going to pursue a few weeks of still life and see if I can find something to amaze and delight me.... because then I know it will delight you too.  Today's painting is a set up using a candle stick than is so tarnished it's hard to tell if it's silver or brass.  Hope you enjoy it.

Figurative Works

Two of my recent pieces, The Dancer and Eric were chosen for Figurative Works, a juried competition at the Foundry Art Centre in Saint Charles, Missouri.  I was absoLUTELY blown away at the honor of being included in this showing.  There were over two hundred applications and only 46 artists' work was chosen. And the quality was amazing, diverse, and fantastic.  They will be hanging for 5 1/2 more weeks.

My Right Arm

I painted this in response to a call for art that I have chosen to interpret through my own aging. This arm and hand shows just a bit of the wrinkles and arthritis that is beginning to take it's toll. I painted using the grissaille technique and then washed in some layers of color. Hope you enjoy it!

Is it Done Yet?

What do you think?  I love the grissaille underpainting and fully intended to glaze in the skin tones but my sister said I should just leave it as it is.  Soooooo, I'm just putting it out for a day or two to see what ya'll think.  Hope you enjoy it.

I am happy to announce that two of my pieces have been selected for a local show at the Foundry Art Centre in Saint Charles, Missouri.  The show is called Figurative Works and opens this weekend, the reception Friday night.  The two paintings are 'The Dancer' and 'Eric.'  It's such an honor to have anything selected so I am doubly pleased.  If you are in the area, please drop by for this free event from 6-8 PM on Jan. 24, have a glass of wine and some nibblies and check out this great space.

My Hand

I've been in a painting slump.  I started this a couple of weeks ago and was close enough to finishing to sign it but today I did make the final corrections and finished it. It's a tough time of year to be finding inspiration with all of the holiday busy-ness going on. 

This one almost got the better of me.  I did the under painting in grey tones and didn't know where I was going to go with it.  I glazed some of the colors in but wasn't satisfied and ended up painting over the under painting anyway.  But I think it turned out just delightfully.  I hope you enjoy it!

Up Side Down

I started a new series a couple of days ago: hands.  I don't think I will ever have the fascination with them, the utter astonishment, that I have painting eyes.  I believe the eye PODs (painting o' day) has produced some of my best painting to date.  If that sounds like boasting, it surely isn't. The repetition of the subject has projected my technique to another level. I want to see if it has a cross-over effect on other subjects and since hands are nearly as emotive as eyes and expressly because they are difficult, I think it's a perfect project to undertake. The repetitive, persistent pursuit of something worthwhile and challenging.

The result of taking on a cognitive challenge is exhaustion!  Code-breaking, learning to 'see' what the eye sees and not what we think we see, is mind-bending work.  I finished an under painting yesterday without too much difficulty, except that it took me two days to complete.  Today, whilst waiting for the first one to dry, I ran outside to Tim's studio with my iPad and shot a video of him throwing a cup.  I snapped some snaps from the video and found one that looks promising. After working only about an hour and a half, I felt exhaustion creeping in (body fatigue resulting from mental fatigue.)  I realized that I was messing it up!  In frustration and desperation, I did the only thing that helps at times like these:  I turned both the iPad and the canvas panel upside down!!! After another hour and a half I am safely on the right track.  I decided to leave it for the day, clean up and play in my greenhouse for awhile. Here is the under painting, upside down.

Permission

Christmas Card Production

One thing I allow myself is a messy studio. It's dusty, dog-hairy, slightly disorganized, and comfortably grubby.   The studio is my sanctuary and I am at peace with my own disorder and dirtiness, whereas the rest of my domicile must conform to some image of domesticity, order and cleanliness.  The 'house' is reasonably organized and when clutter accumulates beyond a certain 'acceptable' level it must be purged! But, other than the studio, there is no place in which I am completely at peace, at rest, because of there being something which always needs doing. Tidying.  Cleaning.  Painting, repairing, whatever.  Here there is no standard, no image to uphold. It's just my place.  All of the brushes, paints, computer, monitor, cables and cords,paintings, sketches, calendar, books, easel, library table, rug, cabinet, slop sink, watering can, dogs, smudgy windows overlooking the yard, closeness to the greenhouse and across the hall from the kitchen, just a stone's throw from the pottery studio and my garden makes it just about perfect. And perfectly messy.

Best Buddies

After I posted this I saw something I could not live with: Chester's eye was too low on his face, making him look like a cow! I also added the halter for contrast. I hope this is better.














I'm not done with my Eye PODs but I thought I'd try something different. This is a portrait of my brother Bud's hands which are caressing the nose of his favorite horse in the whole world.  Bud raised Chester from a foal and these two are best, best buddies. You can see the sublime satisfaction in Chester's eye.  I think the next one in this series will be Bud's expression! I also had to paint this compositions because I discovered, when I cropped the photo, that Bud has my dad's hands (sigh).  Hope you enjoy it.

Friday

I'm just now getting in my studio and it's late afternoon. Having been gone last weekend, I missed cleaning the house and it was starting to really bug me.  I was feeling so tired yesterday, as I mentioned, and the last thing I want is to get anxious or sick of doing my little eye studies so I decided to take the day off and do some housework and shopping and such.  I feel the need to work on a figure painting and I've got just the image in mind.  I think I will do an homage to my favorite figure painter, Stephen Early. Last week, in my figure drawing group at the other studio, I did a nice sketch of Eric (one of my favorite models.)  He was leaning against the wall but resisting it so his muscles were engaged as you can see from the sketch.  I will dabble on it this weekend and maybe paint in earnest on Monday.  Hope you enjoy it!

Only What The Body Allows

Somedays, like this one, I can only do so much. I stayed up too late two nights in a row and am too weary to finish my painting. But I DID start one:

I will have to let it firm up a little, too. I started with too wet of a ground and it was mixing with my paint instead of providing a surface. We are going on a working retreat weekend, leaving in the morning, so I am forced to set my work aside for a few days. I am sure it will be good for me. Plus, I'll have the chance to get some source photos for more eye portraits!  Have a great weekend, folks.