Monday, April 14, 2014

Primed

Introversion   5 X 5 ft  oil on canvas
The definition of introversion that works best for me is this: despite the fact that I love people, the energy I expend in talking to and being with them is limited and does not get refilled until I am alone and pursuing other goals. Usually all that is necessary to recharge my battery is a quick nap or an hour in the garden.  But recently I feel like I've been zapped, drained, depleted.  It's as if I need to "prime the pump," pull out the choke and flood my engine.... something to push me over the red line.  Nothing is wrong in my life.... nothing. In fact, seeking to find a "reason" is self-indulgent and narcissistic and doesn't help one little bit. Have you ever tried to water a houseplant when its soil has gotten completely dry?  The water runs right through the soil into the saucer.  It seems contradictory, but to get dry soil to absorb water you have to moisten the soil first.   I feel just like that.... my soil has gone too dry and all the good things in my life seem to flow right through me without being absorbed.  And I don't know what is needed to do that pre-moisturizing of my soul.  This painting is an exercise in pure expressionism, a stream of consciousness that reflects some of the subjects I have painted over the last year.   It is a dark story told in passionate calligraphic strokes, intensely personal and mysterious, even to me.  I do not feel primed.  Yet.  I will continue to search through all means, including paint.  I hope you enjoy it.