The Eyes Have It!

Tim's Eye  8 X 10" oil on panel

I never knew how absolutely gorgeous the skin around the eyes is.  It has every color of the rainbow.  The thin, delicate tissue underneath the eye is almost translucent, the blood vessels glowing through.  The heavier brow and lid reflects the skin around it or what is in the environment.  The facets of the skin are like diamonds, each wrinkle a jewel by itself.  The eyes have endless variety of colors, too.  I think I am going to like painting them.  This POD is also of Tim's eye.  Hope you enjoy it.

Stop Yelling (I Can Hear You)

Eight years ago this past February I quit my job to become a full time artist.  But opportunities arose and I ended up becoming a potter, teacher, shop keeper, and finally a caregiver for my parents.  I did, however, paint through out, and did some acceptable work, in spite of all the wonderful distractions.

Eight years ago.  As I see it now, in perfect hindsight, I gave into the fear and doubt, ONCE AGAIN, and allowed these things to take precedence.  But now I have slowly, one by one, unburdened myself of each of these delightful distractions, and dedicated myself to my art, once and for all, for ever and ever.  Amen.

I wouldn't trade a single one of those gifts, the pottery at Boonesfield, the store on Main Street, the big studio at the Foundry Art Centre, or our lovely teaching studio at Crossroads, or the precious time with my parents, for anything else.  Those were amazing and wonderful times.  The thing I regret, though, is not putting my painting first. I wonder where I would be now, almost a decade later, if I had pursued it with a passion.  I can't look back.  Life is all about choices and we tend to make decisions based on a lot of circumstances, including doubt and fear.

I won't be afraid any more.  This is who I am.  This is what I do. Life will present me with other challenges and distractions and, honestly, duties that I must attend.  But the work is first and foremost.  Ya hear? (I am yelling at myself.)

Here's another POD.  This time it is Tim's eye.  Hope you enjoy it.

Waiting for the Muse to Visit

My very talented artist son, Ben, cried, "I need a muse!" And I replied, "I bet what you really need is some financial success!  A sponsor, a contract, a patron!"  How much of our artistic lives are spent trying to find out what to make that will sell? How much energy is expended on marketing and promotion?  How many times have I looked at a blank canvas and said, "what's the point?"

Nothing is more stimulating than success.  But if I wait for it, it may never happen.  We artists have to stay motivated, fresh, original, energetic, spontaneous.... good grief!  Who can maintain that type of kinetic energy? That's a huge list for any one to attempt, let alone a melancholic artist!  Ah, well. 

Nothing succeeds like success someone once quipped.  Yea, right.

I'm really frustrated trying to paint really large things on a tiny little canvas.  Today I decided I'm going to enlarge small things instead.  Here's my POD (Painting of the Day.) I painted it over the scrapings from the last two days.  Hmmm, I should give it a meaningful name like, "Lost and Found," or something equally banal.  Instead, I give you, My Eye.  Hope you enjoy it.

My Eye 8 X 10" oil on panel

Two Days of Scrapings

Well, congratulations to me for accomplishing nothing for the last two days.  This is what a scraped down panel looks like.  I was playing around with the pose from last week's modeling session and nothing I did worked.  It was as if my brain said, "what, you did this already!"  I thought I could trick myself into doing it again in a different style but, nope, not happenin'.  I'm going to clean up and go wash the dogs.  I'll try again tomorrow.  I have to realize it's never wasted time, even if I don't know what I've gained.  Something good will come out of this.

Between Two Worlds

I live in many spheres... I am torn between them all!  When I am gardening, I'm feeling guilty for not being in the studio.  When I'm fixing up River Road Studios where I have my figure drawing group, I feel like I should be at my home studio.  I guess the healthy artist is the one who balances her tasks and plays with the tension between them all.  I am so grateful, profoundly grateful, to have this time of my life to focus upon my art.  So much has transpired to make it possible, but here I am with NOTHING but good things to distract me.  It is up to me to decide which path I'll take each day.

One thing I know, though, and that is there is not enough life left for me to do all the things I need to do to become the painter I want to be!  It's okay to be wooed away on occasion but I MUST be about the business of painting.  Here's the completion of the teeny little figure painting.  Hope you enjoy it!

Some is Better than None

I worked on lighting in the River Road Studio today.  Rearranged and erected my lighting boom.  After lunch I took a little reboot and then came down to the home studio to do something, anything, hopefully beneficial on my little painting from yesterday.  I'm sorta kinda maybe a little bit pleased (almost afraid to say it?)  This is tiny tiny tiny, folks.  I'm not used to painting figures with 2's and 4's.  Well, just a smidge of progress but here it is.  Hope you enjoy it.

New Eyes

I saw a painting just uploaded by Stephen Early on his Facebook page and it made me absolutely greedy! Looking is NOT enough: I want to consume it with my eyes!! Besides the fact that my eyes have betrayed me today. Some days are like this...as if I've forgotten HOW to see. I will post my under-painting (the second of the day...my first I wiped off), not because it is finished, but because I must to stay legit! And yes. I did fail to compose properly; I painted her off the edge of the panel.

Old Farmstead

This is the first oil I've messed with in ages!  I gessoed some 8x10 panels with lots of texture. I tinted the panel with burnt sienna and then did an underpainting in burnt sienna, alizarin crimson and van dyke brown. The landscape is thin washes of color, added and wiped off while the sky is finger painted!  FUN, huh?

Speak to ME!

Tim said, "Funny how the things you expect to turn out great, don't.  And the things you really dread turn out okay."  This was one of those times. We had a call from the hospital to pick up a former neighbor who was being discharged from the psych ward and drive him home.  Our biggest fear, that he had slipped back into his sad and reclusive ways, did not materialize. It turned into as a blessing to see how he is living and that, honestly, he's doing alright.

 A couple of times during the drawing of this pretty young woman I thought I saw her move!  I felt like Michelangelo who spoke to his marble and demanded that it speak to him!  Unfortunately, I did what I usually do: pushed the drawing too far, too specific for the painterly effect I wanted (but not nearly refined enough to be a finished piece of drawing) and lost the tenderness and immediacy that I was going for. But at least I finished something.  Have a nice day!

Handsome Young Man with a Crooked Face

Just a quick sketch done in an hour(?) after a stressful day of people problems, and I just said, I'll make myself a drink and do a doodle and then I won't have failed my pledge.

'Supporting the Arts' vs. 'Supporting Artists':

We had a wonderful time at 2nd Thursdays @ The Foundry Art Centre last night. Food trucks in the parking lot, music and making art inside. But when you lower art-making to the lowest common denominator, as in Johnny making a piece of art in ten minutes that he can take home that looks just as good as the sample, or for that matter, some of the art on display, why should anyone pay for "art" that artists make? Part of me LOVES the whole concept of "you TOO can make a pot!" And another part of me thinks it demeans the work of serious artists. The third part of me says we need to challenge the narcissism of artists anyway! Unfortunately, the bottom line is that for artists to sustain themselves financially is almost impossible.

When 'Johnny and Susie' make art, and it's as good or better than what you see on the walls in the gallery, it makes me ask the irreconcilable question of 'What IS art?' I know better than to "go there." It doesn't stop me from musing on it, however. At the very least, I think great art is great story telling.  But more than this, artists proclaim what they love. Some art is beautiful (more so to some people than others). Some art is ugly and offensive (also more to some than to others.)  These subjective evaluations are in the mind and eye of the observer.  But, even if an artist portrays chaos and ugliness, she is proclaiming that order and beauty have a purpose.  It may not be the ideal to which she is striving but at least there is the sensibility that she is challenging the definition.  

I'd like to make the case that creating art is similar to falling in love.  When we are in love, we want to tell everyone we know about it, write songs and poems about, think about and focus all of our creative energy on the loved one. Perhaps, art can be defined as something we love passionately enough to focus all of our creative energy, thoughts and passion upon.  If we don't love it enough, it will be a hobby/playmate.  If we dash off something too easily, lacking passion, we demean our lover and perhaps aren't making art at all, but rather are crafting .

I am in a quandary right now, wondering how I'm proclaiming my loves. I am torn into bits, parts of me going in lots of directions.  I'm taking myself back to a vulnerable place by exposing myself to this blog.  By revealing my lack of skill and vision, I am tearing down walls that I have built up over decades that have protected my image but have walled off creativity, spontaneity and joy.  

  

Go Ahead and Fail

I never knew I was this bad!  Because I never let myself fail, I haven't grown in all the ways an artist must.  This daily challenge has made me attempt things I NEVER would have allowed myself to do before because "painting" was this higher calling and had attending expectations that I, as a "professional" must achieve.  Nonsense!  Even today I was hearing an inner voice tell me that this stuff is beneath me.  Yea, right.  I can't paint a plate to save my life.  But, if the subject is worthy and if I give it a bit of my loving care, it might turn out alright, even if it's not great or even "good." So, for all that it's worth, here is a little drawing that took me a couple of hours.  I am not feeling too well or I might spend more time on it but that isn't the point, is it?

Sarina Revisited

Am I done yet?  I'm still learning about pastels.  I'm getting a little closer to what I envision but I'm so ready to run back to oils!  I don't think this one is quite complete but I've been at it for four hours and I need to take a break.  Maybe tomorrow I'll decide "it's good enough" for what it is.... and try it again in oil.) Check this out and feel free to comment:

Resorting to Painting Dogs?

Tim passed through the studio before lunch and said, "I see you've resorted to painting dogs."

That stung a little. I am happy to paint just about anything, even a portrait of a beautiful dog-friend.  The way I see it, seeing is seeing; one must learn to paint everything one sees. Including dogs.  I hope you like it.

A Doodle a Day

Well, a car load of boys is showing up any minute to help move mulch. I figgered a doodle is as good as I can do today. This is from a phone snap that Buck Horn (aka Brother Bud) took of himself a short while ago.

I like that I've given myself permission to doodle and play. This daily challenge is great.

Day Four - Farmland

I know I'm making progress on getting a professional attitude because when I'm not at work I'm tense and unsettled. So, I have been a few days away from working in my studio! I can't seem to get a stride and maintain it. Today was a perfect example. Tim and I had some home chores and repairs and then ran into St. Louis County for lunch and errands. The improvement I see is in the fact that I came straight home and did a sketch from a photo of the last figure session and then did this little 6x8 pastel from one of my cousin's photos of the trip. And btw, she really loved and received the first farmland painting with joy.

Day Three - Farmland

My cousins came through last week on their way out West.  Julie snapped a photo of lovely Nebraska farmland and I painted this pastel from that iPhoto image.  She's coming back through tomorrow on her way home and I'm sure I won't have time to attempt my challenge so will you accept this (which was done in one session, too, just last week, not today.  Okay?)

Day Two - Eric

My painting hero, Stephen Early, paints the most amazing, sensitive, tiny figure paintings I have ever seen.  I can't begin to describe how these make me feel but I'll try: they make me vibrate with excitement.  I love the translucent passages and the tender little daubs of warm pink on the warmest parts of the figure.  He's been working on a series of 6 X 8's in oil.  Here's one of them: Rita ~ Stephen Early.  He is such an accomplished artist and I admire his work very much.

For the daily painting challenge, I will be working large and small.  Today I tried a tiny figure painting and found it to be extremely difficult working with pastel paper.  The dips in the paper look ridiculous on a small scale piece but that is what I had to work with.  I'm not even going to attempt an oil painting of that delicacy until I get some smaller brushes.

Here is my contribution for the day, done from a photo from last night's figure drawing session:

I don't think the photo does it justice. So here's a doodle I actually completed last night during the session. I like it much better.

Day One - Sarina

A nice little pastel, start to "finish" in one session.  Cropped it will be about 10" X 12".

Here's one of three sketches I did today from last week's figure drawing session.  I'm working up some ideas to do a large pastel of this pose.  I'll post more tomorrow.  Thanks.

~C.S. Lewis is quoted as saying something like, "we do not have souls; we are souls that have bodies." Despite the fact that I can't prove that he said this, I believe it!  I paint souls!  I'm bored to tears painting anything else!!!  There is nothing like human flesh draped over bones, wrinkling is crevices, stretching over muscles, reflecting warmly off itself, planes of light melting into shadows, defining and confining the soul that dwells within!!

Welcome to my painting blog.  I will be challenging myself to paint something daily and taking a few minutes to write about the process.  Until I get a few things posted, take a look at my website if you please.  I will be updating soon.

Thanks.  See you soon!
www.xtpaints.com